{"id":1144,"date":"2025-08-29T08:42:50","date_gmt":"2025-08-29T12:42:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/solomonadmissions.com\/?p=1144"},"modified":"2025-08-29T08:45:17","modified_gmt":"2025-08-29T12:45:17","slug":"the-dos-and-donts-of-parental-involvement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/post\/the-dos-and-donts-of-parental-involvement\/","title":{"rendered":"Parental Involvement in the College Process: The Do\u2019s and Don\u2019ts"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

So, your child is getting ready to head off to college?  Whether you are the parent of a toddler or the parent of a junior in high school, college<\/em> demands consideration and preparation.  After all, what is more important than your child\u2019s future?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s natural for parents to want the best for their children and do whatever they can to support their aspirations.  How often do we hear or say – My son just made the honor roll; my daughter was accepted to an amazing summer program at Prestigious University; my child earned a 35 on their ACT!  <\/em>Perhaps you\u2019re a bit more reserved on this front, but boasting about our children\u2019s achievements is often second nature. We brag or boast because we\u2019re proud of their accomplishments. At the same time, consciously or unconsciously, we\u2019re also patting ourselves on the back for a job well done for raising a highly motivated child and a beautiful human being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Parental<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

How do we as parents catch ourselves before falling into some of the Don\u2019ts of the application process?\u00a0 Be aware and take a pulse from time to time, asking a few simple questions:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Are we, as parents, overreaching<\/em>? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Are we doing too much for our sons\/daughters where it\u2019s no longer of their own volition? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Are we enabling them? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

-Am I spending more time than my son\/daughter on their college process?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since the college application process is an opportunity for the student\/candidate to communicate who he\/she is and what matters to him\/her, it\u2019s best that the stories come authentically from the student\u2019s experience and voice. As the saying goes, \u201ccolleges and universities are not admitting the parents.\u201d As such, it\u2019s imperative that the student shows initiative and desire for the type of quality education he\/she wants.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Do\u2019s:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

#1 Do support them in their quest for higher educational attainment<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#2 Do expose them to resources and opportunities to deepen their learning<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#3 Do encourage them to pursue their educational and career dreams<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#4 Do allow them to LEAD their college process<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tip:<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Set up a specific time (one hour recommended) once per week to discuss all things college. During this time, let\u2019s say 5:00 PM on Tuesdays, you are free to ask, check-in, and encourage your child with their college process.\u00a0 In an effort to adhere to Do #4, you may encourage your child to lead this discussion before proceeding to your agenda.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Don\u2019ts:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

#1 Don\u2019t go on a college visit and overwhelm admissions officers with your questions. Allow your children to shine by letting them speak for themselves. It shows initiative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#2 Don\u2019t write or over-edit their college essays for them, as it will be evident that it\u2019s not their voice that comes across to admissions readers, but yours. Invite your son\/daughter to engage in a profoundly reflective exercise for a more personalized and captivating storytelling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#3 Don\u2019t reach out (email or phone call) to an admissions office on behalf of your child with questions or to discuss the application (the exception is for financial matters).\u00a0 Universities want independent students who do not need their parents to handle conversations\/communication.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

#4 Don\u2019t assume that you know from experience or from a friend.\u00a0 Remember, you may have attended college 20+ years ago, and your information about the admissions process may be outdated and no longer apply.\u00a0 Additionally, be careful of your sources- everyone knows someone who did something (an internship, competition, program, etc.) and was admitted to a highly selective school.\u00a0 This may be the exception in many situations.\u00a0 One-off examples are not your best friend when supporting your child.\u00a0 Seek help and guidance from trained professionals\u2014admissions officers, guidance\/college counselors, and\/or educational consultants.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n
\"What<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Tip:<\/em><\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Remember whose<\/em> college process this is – your child\u2019s!\u00a0 S\/he is the one whose name will be on the application.\u00a0 S\/he is the one who will be in the interview.\u00a0 S\/he is the one who will be on campus, taking courses, and earning the degree.\u00a0 If you ever feel that you are putting more effort into the college process than your child, take a pause, review the Do\u2019s and Don\u2019ts, and make a plan for how to best support your child.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The key word is balance. Seek to strike a balance where you can be helpful and supportive while encouraging your child to take more initiative for their learning and development.
If you need any assistance with your application, why not contact us today?<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Updated:<\/strong> Originally published in May 2018, updated by our Admissions Consultant, and republished in Aug 2025<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So, your child is getting ready to head off to college?  Whether you are the parent of a toddler or the parent of a junior in high school, college demands consideration and preparation.  After all, what is more important than your child\u2019s future? It\u2019s natural for parents to want the best for their children and…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":40,"featured_media":8871,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[51,49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1144","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-introductory-guides","category-other"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nParental Involvement in College Applications: The Do\u2019s and Don\u2019ts<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"\u200b\u200bParent Involvement in College Admissions: the do\u2019s and don\u2019ts of supporting your child preparing for college applications and admissions.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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Matthew served as the Head of Counseling at the United States Consulate affiliate School, the American School of Dubai (ASD), as well as Director of College Counseling at one of the top independent schools in the Tri-State region. Matthew holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Psychology from Northeastern University in Boston, as well as a Master of Education from Springfield College. His interest in education has led him to earn advanced degrees and certifications in Educational Leadership. Matthew is passionate in supporting his students as they learn more about themselves throughout the college process. Matthew looks to help students tell their individual story the most effective way possible to maximize their potential of gaining admission into highly selective institutions. He has successfully supported students to gain admission to each of the top 20 institutions in the US, as well as top universities in the U.K. and Canada. Each student is unique in personality, interests, and experiences. Matthew\u2019s expertise helps students frame their application so that it is an authentic representation of their unique story.","url":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/post\/author\/matthewtatelman\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/40"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1144"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8874,"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1144\/revisions\/8874"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8871"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1144"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1144"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.solomonadmissions.com\/in\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1144"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}